All day today i've been feeling really weird. And then i finally realized what it was. I feel many things at the moment. I feel unattractive and rejected for the most part. I can't let myself cry about this anymore. But i can't fight back the tears. I don't know if this is how it will always be or maybe because it was my first love. And im just upset that i don't even know who he is anymore. No matter what im doing im always thinking about him, what hes doing, who hes with. i don't know what i can do about it. its been 2 months i would have thought things would be easier by now. i was wrong. and i hate how everything reminds me of him. i need to stop this.

I know this may be a lame song but once again the lyrics fit.





Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry

Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

Already gone, already gone, already gone
Already gone, already gone, already gone, yeah

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

"I thought I should reply"
That's what you said
"And the parts of me are always with you"
That's why it was so hard to forget

And when we spoke on hazy nights
So many months ago
You said you will always worry
But you had to let me go, go

Sorry I'm trying to change my past
Can you give me just one more minute?
How I've lost the time
But I always seem to put you in it

However hard it was sometimes
You seem to know the words and hum the lines
To songs that make your heart so sore
Maybe I should write one more

When you won't just bring me back one time
To hide so many truths
Then run from me and back to him
And leave me like this fool

Sorry I'm trying to change my past
Can you give me just one more minute?
How I've lost the time
But I always seem to put you in it

A fraud of love, that's all you were
For you are an emptiness
A person who seems to be void
P.S. Your boy

Sorry I'm trying to change my past
Can you give me just one more minute?
How I've lost the time
But I always seem to put you in it

I thought I should reply
So hear these words I say
I know I will always worry when
You so easily let me stray